Limericks have gone out of fashion haven’t they? So here are a few oldies…and two (dreadful) new ones.

A queue for the vaccine…sorry about the Covid limerick

For no reason whatever, I was thinking about Limericks the other night.

You don’t hear many Limericks these days. You certainly don’t hear new ones.

So here are some oldies, the first two being favourites of my fathers.

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There was a young man from Japan 

Whose poetry no one could scan. 

When asked why he did it

He said “Oh you idiot 

Can’t you see I try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can.

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There was a young man from Taiwan

Who wrote the most terrible songs

It wasn’t the words

That frightened the birds 

It was the terrible absence of rhyme

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There once was a lovely young bride

Who ate twenty apples and died

The apples fermented

Inside the lamented

And made cider inside her inside

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There was a young man from Dundee

Who was horribly stung by a wasp

When asked if it hurt

He said no, not really

I’m just glad it wasn’t a hornet.

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There was a young lady named Cager
Who, as the result of a wager,
Consented to fart
The complete oboe part
Of Mozart’s quartet in F major.

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I apologise for this one, but I wanted a Limerick about where I live…

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I’m sorry I don’t mean to trouble you

But when you’re living your life in a bubble you

Wonder and worry

Why it took someone called Murray

To write a Limerick ‘bout Dublin 6W

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I apologise even more for this one. I was just determined….

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There once was a virus called Covid

Caused more harm than diseases we know did

But we knew we’d be saved

Fortune favours the brave

Or so said a great poet called Ovid 

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