It’s time to update some of our old sayings and proverbs. Because the best is yet to come. Isn’t it? Maybe it should say: The best is probably yet to come we hope.

There are traditional “laws’ and proverbs which have been around for year and years.

It’s time we updated them.

So here are a few that came to mind:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, didn’t get the joke.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

The pen is mightier than the sword especially if you get stabbed in the eye with one.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticise them you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

God helps those who help themselves said the shoplifter to the judge who wasn’t actually that impressed.

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it – unless it’s an IT system which has to be interfered with on a regular basis to make more difficult to use.

When in Rome make sure to make plans to quarantine in a hotel when you get home.

If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself unless it’s brain surgery or something like that.

Honesty is the best policy unless you want to become incredibly rich.

A friend in need is a feckin’ nuisance.

All work and no play makes Jack tired.

Nothing is certain but death and taxes and the fact that Leo Varadkar will turn up on the radio or television at least once a day.

Power corrupts and absolute power gets you a £1billion holiday home on the Black Sea.

He was feeling below par which is absolutely brilliant because he’s usually lousy at golf.

And I bet you have a few more!!!!