I’m actually not a great man for conspiracy theories. I mean, I KNOW we went to the moon. Didn’t we?

There are, apparently, lots of clues in the photographs of the “moon landing” to suggest it wasn’t real

I really don’t get it.

Why does the world’s media keep talking about the “International Space Station”?

Why do they keep pretending  it’s in outer space somewhere?

It’s about 400 km above earth – about the same distance as it is from Dublin to, say, Allihies in West Cork and a little bit further than the trip from Dublin to Dingle. 

Space? 

I don’t think so.

In fact, the moon – which isn’t exactly in Captain Kirk territory either – is 348,400 km from earth. 

The Milky Way is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 km across.

The universe, as far as we know, is 93 billion light years across. And a light year is 9,500,000,000,000 kilometres.

If you feel like multiplying 9,500,000,000,000 by 93,000,000,000 off you go.

But please don’t let anyone tell you the International Space Station is actually in “space.”

We all know what “space” is. It’s gazillions of miles away and it’s mysterious and you can’t see it from earth and there might be aliens there for all we know and – (you at the back of the room. Stop saying that’s just like West Cork and Kerry!)

I’m not a great man for conspiracy theories like the ones that say Covid is a Chinese plot. Or a Russian one. Or a Bill Gates one.

Or even a plot dreamed up by those reptilians who live under Central Park and probably the Phoenix Park too.

And I am not a moon landing sceptic. Not really. 

I mean, I don’t believe for a minute that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone and I’ll always be suspicious about how Princess Diana’s death occurred at a time when was becoming a thorn in the side of the Royal Family and I firmly believe a missile or drone sent up by the RAF was responsible for the Aer Lingus Viscount plane, the St Phelim, crashing off Tuskar Rock in 1968 killing 61 passengers and crew.

And the moon landing?

Well, I’m still baffled as to how we could go to the moon in 1969 and we can’t go there now. I mean, you would expect there to be flippin’ hotels there at this stage if we really went there 52 years ago.

And I know people have rubbished all the stuff about shadows and flags fluttering when there’s no actual breeze on the moon and what not.

But people keep saying me that you can still see the wreckage of the moon craft on the surface. I’m sure you can. Wreckage doesn’t prove anyone went.

Ah, but we have moon rock. And who says it’s moon rock and what can we compare it with?

Ok. That’s just nit picking. We do have lots of astronauts telling us about their trips and tens of thousands of people, all of whom would have to be part of a vast conspiracy if the thing was staged.

So it happened.

Except…

There is one little thing that bugs me more than anything else.

There were six manned moon landings.

Six only.

And they all occurred during the presidency of one man, a man not known for being honest or trustworthy.

Tricky Dicky.

Richard Nixon.

No landings before he took office.

None took place after he was forced to quit over Watergate.

Now sometimes, that niggles just a bit…

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