Bumped into Mary Lou the other day. You wouldn’t call her a Woman of Few Words…

Mary Lou. She always has a word or two ready…

I bumped into Mary Lou McDonald the other day.

“How’s she cuttin’ Mary Lou?” I asked her.

“Well, I’m glad you asked me that question. For too long this government has not cared one way or the other how people are. Too much cutting and we’ll put an end to it. And as far as we in Sinn Féin are concerned, how people are is at the very top of our list of priorities.”

“Eh, Right,” I said. “Any plans for the Christmas?”

“Plans for Christmas is exactly what we have. We made it clear many months ago in the proposals Pearse Doherty made at the Dáil committee that it is essential for the economic well-being of the country that we make solid plans for Christmas.”

“Ok. I see. So you going to have any craic over the weekend?”

“This weekend is pivotal with regard to getting control of this virus so the only craic we’re going to have is watching this cracks in this shambolic coalition government as it begins to fall apart.”

“Ah janey, Mary Lou. Do you ever lighten up?”

“I think you’ll find that our €40 billion plan for the economy will see quite a lot of lightning up not least in the pubs and hotels of the country which have been decimated by the indecision and incompetence of this government.”

(Yawn). “Right. So you’re all in favour of Level 5 lockdown then?”

“Like I have made perfectly clear, Sinn Féin is in favour of doing what is necessary in the current circumstances to ensure that we can eventually to achieve the results which were set out so clearly in the manifesto which we published before the last election and which we have reiterated over and over again in the Dáil.”

“Right. See you so.”

“That is precisely what I am planning as we speak in concert with other parties of the left, we intend to become for visible in presenting alternative blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

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