Phil and Mary Lou would make such an, em, interesting couple

Phil and Mary Lou. Wouldn’t they be perfect for each other, if not for us….

Phil Hogan and Mary Lou. Wouldn’t they make a lovely couple? 

Well, maybe lovely is the wrong word. An interesting couple. They’d make an interesting couple.

Can’t you just imagine their wedding. It would put those royal jobs across the water in their place.

They’d have 30 guests – bringing school books. They’d have 50 carrying wedding invitations. They’d have 81 carrying golf clubs. And they’d have thousands, dressed in white shirts with black ties, lining the route to the church offering their sympathy to, well, both of them on the occasion of their marriage to each other.

At this stage it’s clear that Phil either doesn’t think the rules apply to him or believes he is entitled to interpret the rules whatever way he sees fit.

(Just by the way, while we’re all giving out about that golf do, it DID result in the resignations/dismissals of a minister and the leas cathaoirleach of the Seanad, the removal of the party whip from others and the exiling of Sean O’Rourke from RTE. Contrast that with what happened to Dominic Cummings for breaking regulations in Britain. Precisely nothing. We may be bad. But by God, they’re a whole lot worse.)

Anyway, back to the happy couple.

While Phil insists he didn’t break the rules, at least not the ones he has in his head, Mary Lou tells us that funerals are a whole lot different from golf outings.

Indeed, she said that scientists had proven that the virus doesn’t attack people at funerals but does attack them at golf outings. OK. She didn’t. But that’s what she seemed to imply.

Wouldn’t the wedding be fun?

“Phil, do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?”
“Well, I do on the basis that as far as I can see in the regulations it doesn’t mean I have to love honour or obey or any of that stuff.”

“Mary Lou, do you take Phil to be your lawful wedded husband till death you do part?”
“Well, we regret all deaths of course but in the interests of the country I am willing to make this sacrifice if it gets me onto television and radio more often.”

They’re so well matched Phil and Mary Lou.

The rules we have to obey aren’t for them. They can, Dominic Cummings style, interpret them to suit themselves.

Do they give a flying whatsit?

Not at all. Both are set up for life. 

I know many of our politicians are decent, hard working, caring people. I know they get little credit for what they do – but that’s largely due to the arrogance of a few.

I sometimes wonder why there isn’t a simple intelligence test before people can put themselves forward for election because it’s quite clear to me that some of those in the Dáil wouldn’t pass.

Phil and Mary Lou.

What did we do to deserve them.

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