I love discovering new things.
Here are ten things I’ve learned in the past week.
- Food delivery. Did you know that the Rules of the Road and Traffic regulations do not apply to people delivering food, particularly cyclists? They can cycle on any part of the road, in any direction, at any time and don’t have to give signals or stop at lights. Yes, I know it’s a difficult job and I wouldn’t like to do it. But really they need to pay more attention to their own safety.
- Red traffic lights. I have finally worked out what the new regime is in relation to traffic lights. When they turn red, only four more cars can go through. At least, that’s what it looks like to me.
- Of course we should all put our litter into bins. But if you’re under 25 and on the piss in a park, you are forbidden from putting your empty cans into the bins provided or from taking them home with you. At least, I can’t think of another reason why these people leave their detritus all over the place.
- Graffiti is street art. I love street art. The painting of Dr Tony Holohan, or the old one of Teresa Man on the side of the Centra in Harold’s Cross are great. But I didn’t realise that simply scrawling your name, nickname or initials on any flat, vertical surface is art and not inane vandalism as I previously thought.
- Social distancing doesn’t apply if you don’t want it to. That’s why it’s set at two metres. Or one if you can’t actually manage two. Or none if you’re a kid in a creche. Or something.
- The more television stations we get the worse their output becomes. Do you remember when actors played real people in dramas and they were pretty damned convincing? Now we have real people playing real people in reality shows and they’re not convincing at all.
- Television news reporters. And I’m talking more Sky and BBC here. Why do they all have to wave their arms around and point at things and walk towards the camera? I preferred it when they just stood there, not leaning against anything and told us the news without pulling faces to let us know how emotionally involved they are in the story. Oh. And when they all dressed properly, not like they were going out to do a spot of gardening.
- How many hours to professional soccer players spend practicing diving? It’s gone beyond a joke. One slight tap and they’re rolling around the ground as if in agony and then they limp away and pull faces to show how much pain they’re in. Could you imagine if Gaelic footballers, hurlers or rugby players did the same? Sure injury time would go on for days. It’s time some referee told them all to get a grip and/or sent them off. And, by the way, it’s not helped by commentators who make remarks like “there was contact” when it was about as much contact as there is between a butterfly and a flower.
- The biggest threat facing our world is not Covid-19 or Climate Change per se. It’s Stupidity. And Stupidity is a contagious disease (look at the US and the UK) which means that the other two, Covid-19 and Climate Change, will go unchecked in many parts of the world.
- I wouldn’t live anywhere else. Oh, I know we have problems. And I know we have the odd eejit in a big job. But look around the world. We’re lucky. We’re blessed. At least we have a health service – with all its problems. At least we have a good educational system even if third level is screaming out for funds. At least we have democracy so no matter how much some people don’t like the election or the government, it is the people who put them there.