We really need to establish a HAHA or a OOMPA so that we all know where we stand or AKWWS as they say.

Irish Times diarist Frank McNally was complaining the other day about the new ministry headed up by Catherine Martin TD. It’s the Department of Media, Tourism, Arts, Culture, Sport and the Gaeltacht

And, Franks says, that name cannot be reduced to an acronym.

You must try harder Frank.

Because by simply rearranging those sections and renaming it the Department of Sport, Arts, Tourism, Media, Culture and the Gaeltacht, we can call it Spartomedcuga.

It rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?

“Did you hear what Spartomedcuga is proposing?” “You won’t believe what Spartomedcuga is up to.” “I hear Spartomedcuga is giving out grants.” That kind of thing.

I will confess, that I do not yet know how to translate it into Irish.

But I was thinking that, really and rightly, the people in the Gaeltacht will believe that theirs is the most important section in the department.

So their acronym might be along the lines of GARE – the Department of Gaeltacht Agus Rudaī Eile.

Then again, isn’t this really an important issue?

And it shouldn’t be up to me and it shouldn’t be keeping Frank McNally awake at nights.

I mean, someone came up with NEFET for the National Public Health Emergency Team.

What we really need is the Office for the Origination of Manageable and Pronounceable Acronyms or OOMPA.

Or maybe even the Headquarters for the Assignment of Helpful Acronyms. HAHA.

Personally, I’m spending the next few weeks working on JAM.

That’s Jokes About Micheál.

And then I’ll be full time on the Committee for Arranging Celebrations Aimed at Marking the Installation of Leo In Situ or Cáca Milis.

It will be a piece of cake.