I’m pretty sure, that as our statues vanish, our jokes are going to change

Great gag. Thought I’d share it.

Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Englishman and Paddy the Scotsman went into a bar and…

WHOA! Hold on there.

Sorry, is there a problem?

Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Englishman and Paddy the Scotsman. Is that supposed to be funny? It’s not only demeaning to the Irish, it’s not representative of Ireland or indeed, the world today.

I don’t understand.

Why are they all from white European countries? Where are the Iraqis or the Nigerians or the Brazilians eh?

Oh, right. I’ll have another go.

Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Brazilian, Paddy the Iraqi and Paddy the Nigerian went into a bar and…

You don’t get it, do you? Why are they all called Paddy?

Oh. I see. Let me think. Right.

Paddy the Irishman, Carlos the Brazilian, Mustafa the Iraqi and Babangida the Nigerian went into a bar and…

You really need help. Can you not see the offence you’re causing? Men. They’re all men.

Give me another go.

Aoife the Irishwoman, Carlos the Brazilian, Aisha the Iraqi and Babangida the Nigerian went into a bar and…

Look. I’ll give you a clue as to what you should do. Can you tell me which one is gay and which is transgender?

Em…let’s say Aoife is gay and Babangida is transgender. Now can I get on with it?

And why is it a bar? I mean, the Iraqi is likely as not Muslim and so…

Ok. Ok. It’s a café.

And does it have a vegan menu?

Yes. Of course it bloody does. And it doesn’t use plastic. At all. Anywhere.

Good. We’re getting there.

Right. Here we go. Aoife the gay Irishwoman, Carlos the Brazilian, Aisha the Iraqi and Babangida the transgender Nigerian went into a café which had a vegan menu and the waiter said..

Waiter? That’s an offensive term because…

I should have known. I forgot to tell you waiter is, oh what’s the word, oh yes. Non-binary.

Oh. Good.

Aoife the gay Irishwoman, Carlos the Brazilian, Aisha the Iraqi and Babangida the transgender Nigerian went into a café which had a vegan menu and the non-binary waiter said..

Go on. What did they say?

They?

Yes. The non-binary waiter. They.

(Sigh). Sorry. Eh, they said – sorry. We’re closed.

 I don’t get it.

 I didn’t think you would.