I have to admit it – this photograph is a lie

Me enjoying a pint (kind of) in Lynott’s pub on Achill Island

I cannot tell a lie.

Well, that’s actually a lie.

I can. But I don’t do it very well. 

So it would be more accurate to say that I can tell a lie. But I can’t get away with it.

That picture, the one of me with the pint? It’s a lie.

Here’s why.

We were driving around Achill Island during the summer – I’d highly recommend it, stunning place – and we passed this pub, Lynott’s. 

A sign boasted that it was the smallest pub on the island.

So we said we’d stop on the way back.

And we did.

A really nice pub. Yes, very small – probably a tad larger than the Dawson Lounge but there wouldn’t be much in it.

In we went and ordered our drinks.

And I thought it would be nice to record the moment for posterity.

Another pub on the list of those I’ve visited. 

(It’s 509 in Dublin alone largely down to the fact that in pre mobile ‘phone days, reporters such as I ‘phoned in our copy from pubs. That’s my excuse.)

So Connie took my mobile ‘phone and got ready to take the picture.

I had to say ‘STOP.’

You see, because I was driving, I had only a half pint of Guinness – a “glass” – in front of me.

And there is no way I was going to be photographed with a “glass” of Guinness.

People would wonder if I was ill (I am but it’s nothing to do with the “glass” of Guinness. Mind you, I think I’ll mention it to the doctor on Monday just in case.)

They certainly would have wondered why I, after a life of devotion to pints of the black stuff, would be photographed drinking a “glass.:”

(Once, in the Horse and Tram on Eden Quay when Eamon Brady ran it, a young American couple came in. The male ordered a “glass” of Guinness. Typical, I thought, miserable sod. Eamon put it in front of them. And then the American asked for a second glass and split the Guinness between himself and the girl. Half a “glass” of Guinness. Holy God Almighty, I thought, the world has gone mad.)

So I turned to the man sitting to my left and asked if I could borrow his pint. Without batting an eyelid, he agreed. He knew. He didn’t need it explained to him.

If you drink Guinness, you drink it in pints not “glasses.”

(I keep putting quotation marks around “glasses” because it my head, it’s not something real.)

So he slid the pint across, Connie took the picture. I gave him his pint back.

I finished my “glass” and we hit the road.

I might add, by the way, that it was absolutely delicious, as good as Toner’s and that’s saying something.

I hope to revisit on another occasion with a dedicated driver, on the back of a donkey or some other way so that I can enjoy a proper pint in Lynott’s.

A proper pint or two.

3 thoughts on “I have to admit it – this photograph is a lie

  1. gerryfloyd

    Thought that was Connies pint.

    Like

  2. sillott1948

    Me
    Memories of Achill…20 lads and ladies staying in Slievemore Hotel in Dugort…brave lads decided to go for skinny dip in Keem Bay…drove down that rocky, thorny road and in we go..ladies follow and drive cars and clothes back to hotel…sad, painful, funny trek back up that rocky, thorny roads ..greeted by.all windows occupied by jeering, skitting, derisory comments from a chorus line of jezebals

    Like

  3. Brendan Martin

    Isn’t a “glass” or a half against all religious teaching? I have lived in England since 1983 and never understood why the English drink halves. Is it because they cannot hold their drink or are too mean to pay for a full pint?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: