Hair: it’s at the root of the world’s problems

Notice anything?

It’s the hair!

From left, top row: 

Boris Johnson. Mad hair concealing a complicated “brain” which has spent most of its life dreaming up lies, mentally (at least) undressing good looking women, conniving, cheating, scheming, grabbing and being an all ‘round “cad” – a word a posh boy like Boris would know well.

Donald Trump. Effectively ditto, only probably a bit more delusional than his mate BoJo. It is rumoured that his spokeswoman Kellyanne Conway grows her hair long so that Donald can harvest it for his own head.

Michael Fabricant, Tory MP. You only need to look at the hair to know that this Brexit fanatic is on the wrong side of bonkers. If he thinks that “hair” looks good, he’s got more problems than Donald.

Kellyanne: her hair is harvested for Donald

From left, bottom row:

Geert Wilders, the right wing Dutch politician who has either spent too much time in Amsterdam’s “coffee” shops, or not enough.

Mick Wallace MEP, the man who will lead us out of bankruptcy if we plunge into it again. He managed to squeeze out of a debt of tens of millions including several million to the Revenue in VAT – and still maintain a glamorous lifestyle funded by the very taxpayer he stiffed. Clever boy.

Hair me, years ago

Then there’s me. I have no hair – apart from the bit growing in my nose.

Hair. Samson had loads of it and it didn’t work for him either.

You see, unlike the others pictured, I have never been in a position of power, much. I had the odd job which gave the illusion of it. But that’s all.

But I’m not dangerous. I don’t threaten world peace. I am not going to destroy the economy of my country or any others. I don’t think immigrants are to blame for everything – anything really. 

I think they add to our country not take away from it.

And history has taught me where blaming minorities leads.

I am, in short, not bonkers.

I might well have been when I had hair but not now. Maybe I should rule the world.

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